The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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