all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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