maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize