So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
