Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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