Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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