2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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