I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
