do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
