Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
