Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
