I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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