im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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