Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
