We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
