Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
