he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half