thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
