Can Purell be used as lube?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.