i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
