if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
