I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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