Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
