I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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