He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
