dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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