there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
