I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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