I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
