I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
