i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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