They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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