I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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