Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
