I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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