I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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