I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
