She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
