see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
