SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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