I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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