Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
