Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
