i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
