She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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