I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
