like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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