yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
