I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If I die, sorry about rent.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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