I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras