totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Someone came in the potted fern
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
