Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize