you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
