It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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