are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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