we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
