who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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