we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
