How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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