I'm jealous of your bromance
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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