That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
