i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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