I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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