Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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