"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
