So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
