someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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