I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
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apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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