All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
