her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
